a moment of despair for my country

I held firm in my populism after seeing the lack of reaction to the Bush v. Gore in 2000. I sucked it up 4 years later when 50% of the American people voted to re-elect a man so manifestly unfit for office that I still get the sensation of vertigo when I contemplate his finger on the nuclear button. I'm hanging tough even as Democrats argue with a straight face that independents will vote for Hillary Clinton over John McCain. Hillary frakin' Clinton, people! But that's alright, I could still see how otherwise sensible people can be misguided or swayed by the promise of security sometimes.

And then Meet the Spartans took in over $18 million in box office receipts. So I need a moment to blow off some steam.

In case you weren't discerning enough to tell from the poster or the commercials that this movie was perhaps not the best choice for your $10, you also had the critics, who reacted thusly:

It's so bad even Carmen Electra should be embarrassed. -Adam Graham, Detriot News

It's mind-boggling to imagine that this witless, amateurish mess came from supposedly professional writers and directors. -Frank Lovese, Film Journal International

This was the worst movie I've ever seen, so bad that I hesitate to label it a 'movie' and thus reflect shame upon the entire medium of film. -Josh Levin, Slate

I'm moving to Europe. -Aaron Hillis, The Village Voice

To prove I'm not cherry-picking, the film got a 3% freshness rating on Rotten Tomatoes, and the top critics gave it a goose egg. That's a zero. Out of 100.

And yet some one and a half million people looked at that movie and thought, "I can't think of anything I'd rather spend my $10 on! At least, anything that's not ether!" I don't know if this is the fault of the American education system or TV or paint-huffing-- perhaps the Power Rangers are involved somehow-- but this is an event far more foreboding than the impending recession or renewed escalation of violence in Iraq.

We can't even secure our borders from such barbarism.